if this aint screaming to be made into a comic book…

i dont know what is.

Lookie who’s got a book deal. yay!

Two years ago, Palin told PBS’ Charlie Rose that her favorite writers were C.S. Lewis (“very, very deep”) and a Runner’s World columnist, Dr. George Sheehan. Asked Tuesday about her reading, Palin mentioned that she “really enjoyed” Katharine Graham’s Pulitzer Prize-winning “Personal History” and cited works by Obama, McCain and Bill Clinton, whose “My Life” she read “just recently.”

“Being a voracious reader, I read a lot today and have read a lot growing up. And having that journalism degree, all of that, will be a great assistance for me in writing this book, talking about the challenges and the joys, balancing the work and parenting, and, in my case, work means running the state,” Palin said.

“I’ve read a variety of books, and that helps shape my opinions and my views.”

And there’s this gem from her literary agent/attorney…

“Every word of the book will be her words,” Barnett said.

I seriously need to finish my book so I can publish before she does.

tongue tied

lately I’ve felt like I have absolutely nothing to say. or type for that matter. there are days I feel that everything I say has been said a million times before, everything I’ve thought has been thunked before, every idea and project I undertake has been undertaken before, and what’s it all worth really in the end? that whole “you are not special. you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake” mentality. and you are not your khakis.

I have no delusions of grandeur. I don’t sit around plotting to take over the world. I don’t play elaborate, lengthy rounds of Risk or Diplomacy. I don’t find myself dreaming up ways to become rich, famous, or octomom.

But sometimes, you just want to matter. A lot. And at the end of the day, that’s a good thing.

One thing I’ve been accused of in the past, by people who were less than appreciative, is that I’m ambitious. I’m the kind of person who likes to have 4 or 5 irons in the fire (or whatever that expression is) and be involved in all kinds of things. But I’m also an idea person and once something gets underway and rolling, I want to hand it off to a capable person, and move on.

Problem is no one will ever care about my project the way I do, and even if they do care enough, they may not be capable. Or maybe I just find it hard to let go of things because I feel so intrinsically responsible for its success that I feel I have disappointed myself and others if I do in fact move on to something else. When I’m not involved in something any more, I get a little weepy.

All this to say, that I am trying to get some other irons in the fire but there are things I can’t let go of. And I can’t handle it all. And I’m burning out. And I am totally unsure what to do about it. And I sit around waiting for handwriting on the wall. While I play another round of Axis and Allies.

just kidding.

blogging it out

I encourage everyone always to write. Journal keeping is something I feel everyone can benefit from and while some will shake their head like it’s a chore for them, I do think that once they start, it will make perfect sense to keep it up. Writing is not only therapeutic, it’s a learning system. When forced to think in a mostly defined construct from A to Z, you begin to figure out things you may not have realized before or really given much attention to.

A friend of mine had written an essay about something he does, having to answer the questions of how did I start doing this – why do I do it – who has taught me/influenced me/supported me along the way – what have I learned and gotten from it – etc. This was a required exercise from what I gather, but it got me thinking about how closely this relates to why I blog. Putting my ideas down in complete sentences – well and not so complete ones – makes me organize my thoughts and reminds me why I do anything in the first place. 

Imagine that you had to give an account for everything you do – every single thing you have done so far today, all day yesterday, etc.etc. why and how and who and what and where. And not just a newspaper article type account – but an editorial, giving and proving factual evidence in support of your life.

Back when I had a real career, I was a trainer for a bank. One of the classes I got to teach was Time Management and I’m pretty sure I got more out of it than any of the students. One of the things we had to do was write out everything that was important to you. Then write a list of everything you did the day before and assign a time frame. Then we wrote out a pie chart (I love pie charts) and determined if what we said was important to us lined up with the amount of time we spent doing those things. Of course no one ever lined up. that’s the point.

But it becomes a fine line – having to do things we dont really care about in order to make things we do care about possible. It’s the neverending balancing act. And it makes life hard work.

Anyway, this is why I blog.  To remind myself what’s what and to try to stay focused. I have pages and pages of drafts that never get posted but have helped me sort out whatever was running amuk in my head at the time.

So now I’m off to figure out how I’m going to play a keyboard with no amp tonight and wondering just how many waffle fries I can buy with $100 coupons to Chick-fil-a…