two years to the day

I wrote this a year ago on my first year anniversary in Williamsburg. reading it made me smile and it made me a little anxious.

a year and a day: July 15, 2008

so it occurred to me the other day that i have been in the ‘Burg for one year.  i came out here on the evening of july 13, 2007.  it seems like yesterday – it also seems like 5 years ago alternately. a lot has happened and much has stayed the same.  i’ve met some people and i’ve forgotten some others.  i gained great friends, and i have lost touch with a few.  i have disappointed and i have amazed.  my life has gone in circles, but it has also pivoted and elevated, like a spiral.  i am free but chained.  enslaved to hope and fear, to love and apathy, to strength and weakness, to peace and to longing.

 

only by grace do i stand at all. and it’s in Perfect Grace, that i have learned to fall and get back up again.  i had no idea what this past year would look like. i am still largely unsure of what it did look like, even in reflection.  but i know i am exactly where i need to be, because here i am.  i believe that.  and i am content to be here, knowing around every corner there is something new to experience and learn and savor. it’s gonna be another good year, i have no doubt.

 

oxo

i’m happy to have been here. i have had some great experiences and gotten to closer to a few people i wanted to get closer to. i feel mostly at peace with being here and really sinking my teeth in. ok, maybe a little bit anxious still, but things are coming together and i, again, have no doubt it will be another good year.

on another note, i have recently rediscovered my love for jason bateman and arrested development, the tv show. not only does it make me lol, it makes me appreciate my family a lot more. not that i dont already appreciate them tons, but perspective is always good. if you haven’t seen the show, well i can’t really recommend it to anyone who isn’t slightly warped like myself. or certain members of my family, now that i’m thinking about it… hahaha

so here’s to another year, Williamsburg, Virginia! huzzah!

home is where the stuff is

So the last of my stuff from the Denver storage unit is now here with me in beautiful Williamsburg, VA.  It made me very happy to see my stuff, and then extremely sad that I have so much crap and had this inkling to burn it all. Burn burn yes ya gonna burn.

But no, I tucked everything as neatly as possible in my brother’s garage and my father’s garage and nooks and crannies of my current room. There are things I wish I never had (I own two pairs of angels wings… don’t ask) and some things I can’t believe I lived so long without (my entire collection of Sandman comics). The overall end result being that I feel fairly blase about the entire act of possession of goods and wish I could donate everything to a needy orphanage and run off to the Great Wall of China with nothing but a change of clothes and a good apple. Ok, maybe a dozen apples.

Denver seems so far away to me now. Having my stuff out of there feels like a closed, locked door with no key.  And I’m not sure anyone inside will let me back in. Sniff sniff.

ok Focus! I think a lot of my life has been halfhearted. I lived in a few different places and never really felt like I was “home” or where I really wanted to be. Typical grass is greener kinda girl. But at the end of the day, I’m the kind of person who really wants to sink my teeth in to whatever I’m doing wherever I am and having bits and pieces of me strewn about the country is just not helpful to my commitment level.

So here I am, regrouped and ready to rumble. Although on further ponderance, I realize I still have a few pieces with various friends and ex-boyfriends all over the country.  Hey, statute of limitations definitely expired on pretty much all of that. Consider it yours. Or your dog’s chew toy. Whateva. Onward and upward, yo!

-

fear and loathing in colonial williamsburg

So many people have recommended the book The Gift of Fear to me that I was obligated to pick it up.  I am not at all confused about why people felt I needed to read this, although I’d like to say a big “Where the !#*&%* were you like ten years ago??” to all of you. To boil it down to a single sentence, the idea is that we have intuition for a reason and most of the time if you feel fear, it’s a good sign for you to do something about it instead of ignoring it or downplaying its significance.

It’s been difficult to read for me. It’s a little too descriptive in places and a little too close to home. I had to put it down and I’ll pick it up again in a few days.  I don’t think I can take a whole lot more reflection time without having serious problems.

On a happier note, I am watching John Adams, the HBO miniseries with Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney. It was all the rage this past year when they were filming in Williamsburg. Apparently a lot of the extras were CW employees.  Not that you pay any attention to extras at all.  (which reminds me, I wanted to take out the next season of Extras by Ricky Gervais)

The production is of course HBO-quality, which means completely outrageous budget and prettier than yo mama.  The costumes and sets and lighting and fog and music and oh just everything is perfect. Never thought I’d say it, but HBO has really done a bang-up job of putting out some good, albeit scandalous at times, stuff. Showtime hasnt been bad either, though I only really have watched Dexter season 1 and most of Queer as Folk, which I wouldnt recommend to just anyone – either of those. In fact, 90% of the people reading this right now would absolutely loathe both of those series…. so dont go and say I didnt warn you.

Anyway, I also want to report that public libraries kick butt.  I applaud Williamsburg library, as Denver’s was only slightly better and bigger and they are considered a “major” city. But really it’s more about selection and ease of use and the “burg hasn’t disappointed me yet.  Although I am #87 on the hold list for John Adams, so I just got it from netflix. I figure by the time the library calls me to pick it up I’ll be ready to watch it again.